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1487439
7529481
7546310

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KYBERIA
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mam vela nedostatkov co sa tyka osobnych hranic:
- stale mam potrebu sa vysvetlovat a obhajovat, byt pochopeny
- chcem byt akceptovany a spravim pre to cokolvek (nezdrava obetavost)
- za vsetko beriem zodpovednost na seba, uz som si zvykol, vsetky problemy riesim tak ze musim najst riesenie a odkomunikovat ho druhej strane
- mylim si 'mat rad' a 'chciet' s 'potrebovat', nevyberam si, casto mam pocit ze nemam na vyber ze co chcem
- mam pocit ze som zavisly na niektorych ludoch, zo strachu z nesamostatnosti sa vzdam hocicoho
- som obsesivny a dokazem druhym zajst za hranice z roznych nieco kompenzujucich dovodov (a toto sa ucim len na skusenostiach s ludmi, kym u niekoho nezbadam tie hranice, tak nemam na to ako dojst ze tam su)
- ale najvacsi problem je, ze mam pocit, ze sa musim SNAZIT aby som bol AKCEPTOVANY, snazit za druhych ked neakceptuju, tak to vykompenzujem svojou snahou, co ma samozrejme nici

najradsej by som na nejaku dobu bral ludi ako len take nastroje, ktore vyuzivam pre svoje dobro, aby som sa naucil fungovat v prvom rade PRE SEBA, a nemal furt pocit ze som odkazany na druhych, a ze bez ich akceptacie neexistujem.. blbe je ze vzdy ked sa snazim nebyt zavisly, tak po case pride nejaky stres a tlak, ktory nezvladam, a zacnem zase mat pocit, ze sam veci nezvladam, ze potrebujem oporu v druhych ludoch.. musim v tom najst nejaku mieru aby som nestracal kontrolu nad sebou, a nelietal stale z neznasania ludi na potrebu pochopit vsetkych ludi..

chcem sa naucit zit si ako sa mi chce, a nepocuvat ostatnych.. nech si kazdy spravi svoj notepad kde bude ukazovat svoj svet, ale nech mi nehovori o svojom svete priamo, ja to nechcem pocut, lebo za to beriem zodpovednost, lebo to nasavam jak spongia, a potom zabudam na vlastny svet, nedokazem vnimat svoj a cudzi svet naraz, a ten svoj nechcem stracat, chcem sa naucit zit vo svojom svete, a nebat sa ze moj svet nie je dost dobry pre druhych.. lebo tym zapredavam svoju dusu, vzdavam sa svojho ja aby som si doplnil nejaku potrebu ktora ma ovlada..




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psycho
 psycho      30.03.2014 - 16:50:32 , level: 1, UP   NEW
One can not actually love another if he feels he doesn't have a choice not to.

We are responsible TO each other, not FOR each other. Therefore, one should refuse to rescue or enable another's immature behavior.

If someone in your life is a rager, you should not dictate to him/her all the reasons that they can't be angry. A person should have the freedom to to protest the things they don't like. But at the same time, we can honor our own boundary by telling them, "Your raging at me is not acceptable to me. If you continue to rage, I will have to remove myself from you."

"You can NOT rage at me", or "You can NOT say cruel things to me." These aren't examples of boundaries, these are examples of a Non's effort to control someone else's behavior. A healthy boundary is, "When you rage at me, I feel threatened. I am going to leave (the room, the house, etc) until such time we can communicate calmly." The other person is free to rage to his/her heart's content, but you don't have to sit there and absorb all their anger and rage. If you are saying to yourself, "Why should I have to leave the room? They should have to stop raging!", you are looking at boundaries backwards.