14.04.2014-2:33:14 :: Something smarter than us is going to emerge


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created:	14.04.2014 - 02:33:14

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brzdi ma svet
chcem sebareflektovat davanim sa von a vnimanim ako ma ludia vidia
ale je toho prilis vela, prilis vela chaosu, ludi ktori mi nereflektuju vobec moje ja
ale reflektuju svoj chaos
niekedy ich chcem pochopit, pochopit cely svet, chcem ovladnut vsetkych ludi tym ze im budem rozumiet
vlastne sa tym chcem oslobodit od toho strasneho sumu, ktory mi vytvaraju ich chaotickym neusporiadanym videnim sveta

tlaci ma ze by som ich najradsej nepocuval a zil si svoj svet na maximum, bez nutenej sebareflexie, bez rad, po svojom, viem ze moje vnimanie sveta je dokonale, ze vedie k dokonalemu pochopeniu vsetkych suvislosti vo svete
no zaroven viem, ze kazdy clovek je takou puzzlou sveta, z kazdeho cloveka zistujem o svete nieco, co mi dovtedy unikalo
cim viac mi niekto vadi, cim viac niekomu nerozumiem, tym fascinujucejsi pre mna ten clovek je, pretoze to znamena, ze ma puzzlu, ktora mi chyba
cim viac niekoho nenavidim, tym viac ho milujem a chcem
tym vacsiu dieru v mojom obraze sveta mi zaplni - a teda aj v obraze seba

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nesudme sa, vymienajme si dobro alebo sa radsej nebavme

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When washing the dishes one should only be washing the dishes, which means that while] washing the dishes one should be completely aware that one is washing the dishes. The fact that I am standing here washing these bowls is a wondrous reality. I'm being completely myself.

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dopici dopici dopici, neznasam spochybnovanie
nekonecny "nejebe mi?" cyklus uzkostlivy prijebany chod do pici vazene publikum
nie som to ja
ja nesudim kurva, ja nehovorim ludom ze im jebe, to nie som ja, to je prave to odporne chore externe svedomie, ktore pochybuje same o sebe, a ja sa nim inspirujem, ale ja ho nepotrebujem take strasne sebakriticke uz, ja neklamem seba nikdy, neznasam drogy alkohol povrchnosti manipulaciu jednostrannost pozitky, neznasam utekanie z reality, neznasam neriesenie, neanalyzovanie, neznasam vypinanie sa, a co kurva do pice neznasam najviac je POTLACANIE SA - to som trochu uletel vlastne, ale je to vecna tema, imho zdroj vsetkeho zla, pretoze ja som nikdy v sebe nic nepotlacal, vsetko som si naplno pretrpel, ziadny ciel som nikdy nevzdal, vzdy som tlacil na vsetkych frontoch, vsetko chcem, vsetkych chcem pochopit, neznasam predstavu nebyt dokonaly, dokonalost je jedine riesenie, neznasam ked niekto nerobi maximum a zabija tak svoju dusu, neznasam ked niekto obmedzuje slobodu, etc, uz ma to nebavi, na keru picu toto pisem zas

hm, mozno to pisem na tu picu ze ked zacnem pochybovat o sebe, tak staci nachvilu nechat nervacit ego a uz som zase spat, vsetko svedomie a kokotiny prehnane su vytlacene a zase mam slobodu

e: then again, ze sa cudujem, ked nasilu citam clanok, ktory ma uz nebavi, lebo "co ak tam nieco najdem", tak samozrejme, ze ked tento pochybovaci pattern v hlave mam stale aktivovany, tak ze sa zacne tento pattern prepajat s dalsimi pochybnostami.. a pritom by som minduflnostou si to mohol poriesit, keby sa pocuvam, ze no, ale ten clanok je zaujimavy, tak proste mi pride vhodne donho dat este 10 minut, lebo som tam nasiel dost huste veci.. a teoreticky by to malo pomoct.. uz len preto, ze namiesto podrobneho citania zacnem tak trochu letiet zrakom po texte a hladat klucove slova a obcas pomalim a citam ze mozno toto je nieco zaujimave..

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Take yourselves to no external refuge. Look not for refuge in anyone beside yourselves.

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Present centred awareness is an important way to heal a distressed psyche and facilitate freedom from dukkha.

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At a superficial level, some of the paths designed to alleviate dukkha may seem contradictory. For example, Western psychotherapies are generally directed at strengthening the self while Eastern spiritual paths are concerned with its deconstruction (Wilber, 1981). Wilber attempts to reconcile these contradictions by offering a paradigm which includes both self fortifying and self transcending functions in the path to liberation. Wilber considers liberation to be an egoless state of mystical union with the universe that is beyond all division and duality. This state, called 'unity consciousness' he claims has no boundaries or limitations and is ultimate freedom. Suffering, on the other hand, he argues, results as the deluded mind creates self imposed boundaries and fantasy divisions between the 'self' and 'other'. The more contracted these existential boundaries are, the greater the alienation and subsequent suffering one experiences.

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When individuals become aware of their dukkha they either avoid it with distractions thereby perpetuating its manifestation (such as with drugs and alcohol)

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the meaning of transcendence is transpersonal in the sense that it is a development or a transition "to a level of experience beyond that centred in the ego or the personal self"

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"Is there a way to kill your conscience?

I do not want mine anymore; I feel it has become a hindrance to my advancement. When I help a kitten out of a tree I do not do it because my conscience tells me to, I do it because it is right. How do I get away from these emotions and become a truly free person who does what needs to be done without being tortured by this demon called conscience?

I am trying to extricate those irrational parts of my conscience. The parts that serve no purpose other than to torment me. I want to hold onto the part that loves all life."

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obcas sa uz ani nechcem rozpravat s ludmi kvoli tomu ako tomu prepadam, neviem si udrzat svoje ja, upadnem do nutenej sebareflexie, nutenej interakcie, nuteneho fungovania, fuj bleh neznasam to, chodte vsetci do pice dajte mi pokoj chcem slobodu ja som ja a ty si ty, a nemusime sa vobec rozpravat spolu aby sme si mali co vymenit, staci aby sme len hovorili ako vidime svet, a inspirovali sa navzajom

naco ine zijeme nez na to, aby sme dosli k poznaniu? mne su ludia ukradnuti, ja chcem poznanie, nie ludi, ludi chcem len kvoli poznaniu [not sure ci nie som len vnoreny do kontextu]

nechcem prepojenie, prepojenie je chaos, neviem kto som ja a kde len reflektujem druhu osobu, bleh, neznasam ked sa stracam sam sebe, ujdem do lesa dajte mi pokoj nechcem od vas nic, len si zite svoje zivoty a ja sa budem pozerat, a ja si budem zit svoj a pozerajte sa, ale nechcem pocut vase pohlady na mna, nic o mne neviete, nikto o mne nevie tolko co ja, len zo zufalstva o sebapoznanie sa priklanam k tomuto silenemu sebapoznavaniu a nacuvaniu ako ma niekto sudi, atd.. ale cim dalej, tym viac vidim, ze mi to uz nic nedava, cudzie ego, ktoremu naletim na to ze ich videnie som ja, pritom to je ich zaslepene videnie mna