You Know You're A Great Dane Owner When...

* the sound of running water makes you jump up and yell, "OUTSIDE!"

* you tell your dog to sit, and he backs up until he finds a chair

* it takes 3 people to get your dog on the scale at the vets

* you walk your dog and everyone knows him by name, but you have no idea who these people are

* you can carry on a conversation with a dog's muzzle firmly in your crotch

* you own a dog capable of pulling someone from a porta potty

* your dog can hide an entire tennis ball (among other things) fully inside his lips and give you that innocent look that says, "What? I'm not eating anything!"

* you carry a tape measure with you when shopping for a new vehicle

* you keep at least one color-coded "drool towel" in every room of your house

* after banishing your husband, the snoring in your bedroom still keeps you awake

* you are hiking with a friend who later suggests that you ought to have an environmental impact statement done on your dog

* visitors enter the house holding their privates protectively

* you toss your dog a ball and cringe when he almost hits his head on the top of the doorway

* you take your dog for a ride and he rests his head on your arm, causing you to make random right turns

* you have given up on water dishes and you just use the bathtub

* your two dogs decide to play in the house, and they end up pulling the ceiling fan down -- for the second time

* you have to move over when brushing your teeth because your dog wants a drink

* you show a picture of your dogs and kids together, and the first person you point out is your dog

* while stopped at a stop light, everyone stares as your car rocks back and forth because the dog is panting out the window

* you go to vacuum your car and most of the fur is up there on the ceiling

* you avoid the dogs on your way out the door, so they won't smear your makeup

* you've learned to force a smile when asked "do you have a saddle for that thing?"

* the monthly dog budget exceeds your home mortgage payment

* your veterinarian has been able to put in a swimming pool, build a large home, buy jet skis and a personal plane

* you have had to train your dog not to lick dishes, and the dishes are in the sink

* the donuts you put on top of the refrigerator are gone when you get home and your dog has powdered sugar on his nose

* your dog can see what you're cooking, and he tries to assist you in the preparation

* you're holding him straddled between your legs when the doorbell rings, you take a short (but fast!) ride straight to the door

* the pizza delivery people tell you to meet them at the end of the sidewalk

* your dog stands in your lap and reaches over you to stick his head in the drive-through window at MacDonald's and nearly gives the cashier a heart attack when she turns around to give you your change

* you purchase a large screen TV and you still can't see the program when he stands in front of the television

* after surgery, your bored pup decides to get up and cruise around the vet's office-- pulling the rolling IV stand behind him