/ subtitle - Just as if you were reborn.../

Hí, smee again, but this time I have a novelty with me that I want to share, a novelty that I am proud of. I quit peddling. A few months ago. Reasonable sense of shame in front of my dear friend upon reuniting with him after give+ years, an unprecedented spiritual emptiness caused by drug relapse and lack of quality company has incited me to move away from my side project, an alternatíve source of income, the subversive and crookish lifestyle has been put on shelf, locked in my old room at parents’ place which serves as a backup whenever a potential femme fatale decides to dump me or I go ballistic, the most likely outcome is that I am confined in the bed that has been there for me way back as a perspective teenager, the adult though going again through cauld turkey, temporarily. The totality of years spent on this planet has accumulated significant experience in this field. As I say, this relapse has been the last one. Ever. What will take you by surprise is that I am confident in it. I believe, yeah, take my word for it.
Around the block, I greet the same people who know me as an outlet, a mobile one, where you can get rid of your current problems. I am seen as a healer, to a certain extent. It is an illusion. A very short-term solution to a complex setup which cannot be left simply by sniffing two-three inches long line of white powder. Please review on your end if holding firmly to this grandiose lie. Do something about it. Heh, no attempts to talk your way out of your own portion of responsibility, bear in mind that it is not only intellect that gets damaged, the soul part of yours is heavily polluted. Last but not least is your system of values and your sketchy behaviour. Back in the days, when you were such a hot shot, comedowns had been just an occasional slip up. Presently, you avoid other people’s company so frequently that everyone notices your behavioral pattern changes, in the poor part of town, the poison and the cause of so many families ruined, has been the article I was dispatching and redistributing according to other people’s demand. Shame on me.
So you need a new past time activity. The one that fills up that tremendous hole which is left from 20+ year habit, the one that moves you forward from despair and pessimism. Which way is the one for me? Simple, I became religious. The usual exit way for the cowards, you might pressume.
So considerate and supportive, being very grateful. Bearing In mind that the belief I chose, their representatives do not proselytyze and by some opinions, it does not own up to some standardized definition of the term religion. Where does that leave me? In the grey area between my kind and chosen people of Israel, a nation that I have been trying to infiltrate for past eight years, soon this lenghty period to be applicable and valid for me. As it was just yesterday that I could no longer continue as a capital fuckup and tried to leave this world througn my own efforts. G-d barred me from premature escape, put me back down on this planet, to cope with ongoing failures, losses and tribulations. Heard of Job? Not Job.svoju.mat, hey, be a bit mature please, I am reffering to the Tanakh bad luck impersonation who has been seriously tried, in spite of that, still maintaining his faith and acceptance of G-d’s portin of Olam HaBa tailor-made for him. See, on some occasion, I feel as I am of that very same kind. Just as my favourtte character conceived by Irvine Welsh in his fictious version of Edinburgh and outlying domains. I am of course referring to Spud.
Out of some unexplicable incentive, I have come to a job interview high as a kite on meth. Our local version of amphetamine stimulant. It all went well, no suspision raised till the relevant commison have been mentionned. My rush got to a new dimension, I started calculating likely earnigns, I thought I made it to big league. On top of that, the tram stop where the business center is located is named after the Torah giant, Chatam Sofer himself. I found this to be an utter koved /FYI this means honour/, I felt protected and no harm could have appeared, just as my naive componenfs fervently dictated to the intoxicated brain.
First day at work, me starting again on the clean percentage of Bantusatn’s population, I have been given the opportunity to brush up on my economics and finance elementary knowledge, then I was thrown among my colleagues who tried to lure a potential selfemployed hard working compatriot into an automated, nicely developed software which should have, through automation, assymetric information provided by head scalper, plus usual red flags and obvious warnings in place. I calculated ten drug references, please do not think I am innocent, nevertheless, if willing to abstain from those dangerous substances, make sure you are surrounded by appropriate peers and that you build a protective dam or dyke that does not permeate any umwamted temptations. In addition, I would bet all these people in their past-time munched heavily on the Hollywood movie which I slept through, Scorcese’s A Wolf from Wall Street. Any apparent lack of interest from the potential client has been greeted with curse words, foul language and verbal attacks just as he hung up. Double standards at its finest. This 20plus beauty sitting in front of me has openly admitted she has been saving money for a breast operation. An enlargement. I imagined those nice 1+ to 2- being recreated, this decision has been based on which point of view, eh? Nevermind the tiny tits of her, I have to say plasuses for being given some economic information that I had not known, about the Q2 2022 inflation, real one and the consumer basket’s included and ommited items. Then the information provided to the human being on the other end, by newly acquirred colleagues, have been fed to them based on their momentarily benefit, ugly bent and fleeing the common sense for honesty and truthfulness. Ah, sorry, I am terribly mistaken again, we do not have to be perfectly one with every aspect of the truth itself, mind that half a truth is a whole lie, but how about 80 per cent? That goes in, that one stays unpronounced, here the client is being convinced about inverted and unstable nature of the phenomenon itself, to cut it short, I have stood up from my chair and excused my way out of the noisy room with 15+ hungry young investment brokers who will once make it big, losing their integrity half way through unevitable trajectory of theirs. Good luck, behotzlochoh robboh, one more Shemah Yisroel next to the graveyard of the third ever Rabbi
/ source Illan Pasternak’s guest at Community museum above Shul’s sitting, me humbly agreeing /
FYI, I googlesearch Ari Folger and find his website. I permit myself to a chiddush, I hear my number one /unilateral perception/ world rabbi to introduce me to his teacher style. Please be informed that I still do not have the chutzpah to googlesearch HaRav Hotoveli whose name I am not aware to this date. Cross reference with first chapter – highlight of my previous life, mikve ib Bratislava, summer 2021.
To pick up from here, I will tell you a story. In the absence of funds I proceed to selling my own stuff. That day I was touring Bantustan,

Me to Boaz Raz, currently known as Menahel. No longer, I started calling Miki Pastah The Gaffer. We have come to a signed agreement, location Slovak Pub on Obchodna street, place of many revelation, let me inform you that it was on this main street that we used to roam with my protegant Tomas Beno, forever in my heart as Chcablico. Dabel a Cavo put together, yeah, yeah, you knew before. Another bad boy from Cadrova school, is Veronika’s still boyfriend, waiting till his balls drop very low, Jan Mamzerak, you know him, yes you do. He got headhunted by Amazon, so he claimed, straight from Dell, no FC Chelski reference meant dare I say. The closing top of this triangle is our treasure. He represented very fine in his youth. Please, standing ovation to Martin Fabian. Feel welcome Pal. My first posse cannot be complete without brothers whose mother first recognised me when I moved back to Rozvodna, this time the block of flat with funky number 13. In gematria system, the word love carries this numerotation. In non jewish world. Google search Hugo De Paens. And to close this roundup, Marek and Lukas, welcoome back. I carry you still in my heart. And since I am the author, allow me to include my first best friend. Misko Perinaj.
One paragraph in my mother tongue…

Michal,

Prepac, ze s dvanastrocnym odstupom, uprimnu sustrast. Ja som sa o Vasej rodinnej strate dozvedel z FB postu Juraja Vazana, rodicia mi to neverili nakolko tato strasna strata pre nasu ulicu, zrovnatelna so stratou Kiskasu a jeho priatelky, nech im je zem lahka, ja som bol 19.9.2011 hospitalizovany s najsilnejsou maniou, aku som kedy mal, moja reakcia po prepusteni nasmu rodinnemu lekarovi
-Pan doktor, jebem vsetky drogy tie manie su hukot.
Viete, ja som stravil v PK—Pinelova nemocnica nejaky cas aj na AG a tam je to ozaj dadaistickosurealna zverina. Na ten moment si pamatam velmi dobre. Uz som prestal klast odpor, opat visiel na chodbu ten vysoky pan SBSkar a zavelil
-Lieskovec, vy viete aj posluchat?
Mna nemozete volat inak nez priezviskom, mam na mysli, obdobne situacie. A ja kladiem odpor, ked nesuhlasim s cudzou verziou. Pani sestricka mi priniesla knizku na ukludnenie, ktoru som odbliakal, ze socialisticky realizmus ja bojkotujem, to nema umelecku, lez iba budovatelsku ulohu. Sedel som v tureckom sede v polke chodby, prihovoril som sa silene milo k pani upratovacke, ta by mala dostat metal, ta k nam bola vsetkym stale vysmiata a pomahala nam.
-Mozem si pozicat tie noviny, pani upratovacka?
-Ano, nech sa paci.
A tam ten pan z vedlajsieho domu, ten ujo, co nas ten vecer prisiel na internat vo svojom rodnom Svite navstivit s dcerou a synom, ten pan, ktory sa venoval grafike, mal vzdy pekne auto, slusnost, no tiez robil chybu, kedze ma nevidel s cajockou a domnieval sa, ze som inej sexualnej a nie politickej orientacie a vypytoval sa mojej imi, ci som buzna, nemal som to rad.
Ten pan isiel za zakrytimi nositkami a tak ho cvakli do Noveho Casu.
-I hereby declare a war on You.
Tolko k mojej druhej hospitalizacii, Michal. Prepac, ze az teraz. Mozno by sme sa mohli niekedy stretnut na jednu nefiltrovanu Ciernu Horu. Ta deska pri Fakulte Designu, tuto tajnu zbran si ma naucil Ty. Ked som bol v minulosti pateticky a pocuval som Live Sziger verziu spievanu Skotskym Androgynom Brajenom Shmolkom, co to opacoval od Kate Bush, let me see if you heard of a razor, nope, anyway…
Kruh uzatvara syn cloveka, ktory nieco spravil pre slovensky punk-rock, najlepsia hlaska zo zaprdenej pimpongarne u nas v brane…
-Drz hubu lebo ti pichnem do riti tu moju chorobu.
Pozdrav Down Under, stejne si Stopka narazil Slovenku, hehe. To inac ani nedava zmysel.
Prechod do SVK rjetchi zakoncim opravou pre Mikiho Pastu…
Vies ako si sa pytal, co to hra za track? To bola skladba Sicario do Dios. Ked sa pozries na prve slovo, je v singulari, zle sme to prelozili, ze sme Bozi najomni vrazi. Lepsi preklad je Gd’s Assasin. Vid pripad Yitschak Rabin. Doprdele s nobelkou. Back to English.
/NB – if you want to read some more on this topic, please skim read than take another attempt with the article by Doctor Bruce Levine, read by both Doctor Vanco and Doctor Demes, my two latest addition to people’s repertoire from Nemocnica na Smidkeho.The title of it spells - Psychiatry’s Oppression of Young Anarchists—and the Underground Resistance. Here, its link
- https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/bruce-e-levine-psychiatry-s-oppression-of-young-anarchists-and-the-underground-resistance.
Especially the child chess prodigy who wowed to explain me the Game theory on a matrix 2x2 with the worn out /hashtag/paradoxdvochcorkarov-otazkabonzovania-F25.0akonastrojmlzeniaprivypovedi

PS Janko Mamzerak, dbaj na to, ze schizo ochorenia mozu nahravat naklonnosti k matematike. A nepresiluj sa tolko, treba obcas aj vypnut.

So as one famous track goes, back to life, back to reality, I have ongoing health issues, my mom;s health is fragile, we rarely *insertaword* ends meet, I am ultrapoor, according to some constantly manic, things start making sense only with some time delay and it seems that everything is in its harmony, everything is at its utmost order, just me, I am a bit distanced when we take sentimental/feeling realm and intellectual/remnantsofwhatoncewas realm. They aint so much in constant odds as they used to be. It just, well, how ro phrase it, I just cannot contain myself anymore in this nonobservant town where jobs seem to be avoiding me and social politics of the state plus compassion/solidarity of the middle-class and the rich, well they aint homogenous with me either. Anyway, I got to the end of this chapter where another thanks has to be allocated and sent retrospectively.


I had the privilege to work in Yallahummus kosher kitchen at ZNO BA. To descrtbe this experience in one sentence, I grow in a linear fashion outside of Jewish direct influence, among them, on some plains, I was in bloom exponentially and geometrically. But as usual, I messed with bevvy, lesser of evils compared to Slovakia;s finest synthetic sparetime acitvity. We agreed with Lavan, my bad, that was his first nickname, me thinking on 10th of June when I came crawling hungover for a job, I told myself – sest rokov budem robit pre tohto plesateho Lavana a aspon obzriem cajky. Second alter ego, when he tried to lecture me on halachah and judaism, him chiloni zionist with a tattoo in shorts, him being dabbed as Reb Raz. After I left, I sent him a picture with my lithium pill chopped up on a book with the title Anarchism Yehudi Dati, I kept some anger with him, has to be said. Third one – Boazzinho Ratzinger, that is a combination of his snidey remark about us Slovaks allowing 1939 to even happen, without any previous concept of Viedenska arbitraz in 1938, me being anarchist since 15 and me being a great grandson of Slovak insurgent who fought the Nazis and Slovak fashists with a strong handicap, three fingers missing blown out by a grenade that went off prematurely, all of a sudden coming prematurely in a different discipline not the end of the world plus he had to serve and shake hands with the Pope. Me I started having recurent Serbian thoughts around his visit to Bratislava around Yom Kippur.
When we commonly messed up on Rosh HaShannah / in diaspora the first day /, I had the chance to hear the shofar blow next a young woman by the name Arielle who moaned about having spent 4 hours praying and now waiting for us to make up for my own mistake, it just glanced to me, a line from my all time favourite track, I asked her with my eyes, do you want to end this day in a stable position just as Commander Sharron had to occupy for a significant length of days?
Soonafter, I exploded two days after that. The accusations were made public, the excuses were carried in privacy. So me afflicting myself after two failed yamim tovim, I did not succeed to contain myself. Firstly, I do not see of anyone being a chiloni Zionist to be a negative mark of character since one of my role models, The Pirate, has been perhaps one of this sort as well. But something pissed me off.
-Dont dad me you cunt. I have a dad.
/Tzur Gedaliah Taf shin pey beis, last fast that I kept in full beauty, I was advised by my well experienced shrink to at least drink since it is not recommended to skip medication intake /
Back then, G-d sent us a helper in form of Obecni Zid. One of my daydreams. An unforeseen one. I have heard Mr Ladislav Shragge speak English. It took me two months, maybe three to appreciate his assistance, his coming to join our argument and calm us down. So the verbal sign of gratitude goes his way. Last but not least, Boaz is a problematic type, me as well, I would even say to him, my former boss and who knows, mibbe we join our forces once again for the sake of kosherslovakia.com
-Ani ohev otcha, Menahel.
If Boaz or Mr Schragge somehow come across this article. I like Jews, I still do not love them but my kind, I need to leave behind. Soon, G-dwilling. I would end it here, plus one opportunity for astonishing kedushah developped below.

Only for Pilier – set him up a date, 25-30 year bomb, for him even 40yearold which is the end of the intervalle when females can be considered as allowed to mate, afterwards, sorry Doll, you should have spared us from your snobism, and BTW, you should have planned the teshuva thingy earlier. / Not to be taken 100 per cent sertously / That bomb seduces Pilier, then he doses off sleeping, such as Czech rapper Hugo Toxxx stated *udelam se prvni a usnu*, she calls me on the phone, I connect to Illan Pasternak and Alexander Simchah Petchorski who brings Slavo along, me responsible for timing after the immersion in mikve, not in this neverending giyur stage.
The result – shechinah dwelling among us as never occurred in Bratislava. For long time, if ever.
The explanation, brought up in one of his shiyurim by Rebbe Yossi Mizrachi
-He is there every week in and out? He can fall asleep and snort at the same time, still he is counted into minyan and doing a favour to the Yidden around him.
Thank you for your attention. Over and out.

PS Shmuel, I still fully stand behind my saying from pizza party, refering to Pirkei Avos ch.1 article 4. I think you might come up with an explanation on your own. But this would need some quality soundtrack Ma Man. Chabad renegade style, likesay... Hehe.

PPS my favourite member of minyan ensemble has not been mentionned. In my dreams, he is my study partner. Dear HaRav Fogler, if I am allowed to choose my field of expertise that I plan to develop to the fullest, I would go for Gematriah. I love mathematics more than football and music combined. It is Mr Alexander. Greetings from behind keyboard, Sir. To Stanko Konta, Psalm 91 said for your healing and for healing of my mom plus me. Take care. G—d bless.