To whom it may concern
(preferably a music industry representative)

Hi,

my name is Brandon. I am seventeen and I want to be a pop star.

- I am hot, all chicks in our village want to go out with me
- I can't sing, but nobody notices, when I show my sweat t-shirt
- I like money
- I like cocaine
- I like when people talk about me
- I love myself and have strongly-built ego

and the most important:
- I lack any creativity

To demonstrate you my skills, I'm going to sing a song for you:

I sing this song, for the lack of creativity...
And for the lack of creativity, I used the same words again.

I am hot, and I am cool and I'm a slave to you
And I sing about my summer love I met and gave her cocaine

(refrain)
and for a lack of creativity, this verse is here just to rhyme.
(quite badly, indeed, pampadam)

I can't speak proper english, but I'm told it's sexy
I'm so hot and I have broken heart, because my summer love
stopped meeting me when I told I have no cocaine
and for the lack of creativity, I wrote this stupid song

(refrain, half tone higher)

and come on, come on (jumping, jumping, jumping, breaking guitar, jumping again)

(refrain, for the lack of creativity again)

(refrain)

and for the lack of creativity again
and again
and again

I'm a pop star and a slave to you, just buy my cds and I'll love you
signed photos and interviews
this is why I do it.

for the lack of creativity
for the lack of heart

----

Thank you,

Brandon


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Commercial break:
This is a notice for all people: please use P2P sharing networks to steal money from these deaf, cocaine-powered pop stars. By sharing music, you make sure that these bastards have no money and die of hunger, making space for good music. Thank you.

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(takuto nejaku reklamu aj s videom k tomu by som chcel spravit, bohuzial vobec neviem ako sa robi hudba a nemam ani hudobny napad, vizualny trosku mam -- ten list by vyzeral ako americke titulky k videoklipom alebo titulky na karaoke, kde sa vysviecuje aktualne pismenko. Potom zaber policajta, ako odstavuje auto a pocitacovym hlasom -- viem spravit -- nahovoreny ten koniec. Chce niekto s tym pomoct?).