Oh my darling won’t you be my bride
At the Schengen Visa Wedding
We’ll be singing, dancing, celebrating life
At the Schengen Visa Wedding
Bring your boyfriend, girlfriend
Everyone can come because
It’s all about inclusion
Let us sing the praises of the one we love
Oh the European Union!

Well she was sitting on the bus gazing out the window
With her dinner in a bag on February 14th.
When a man has everything to lose
He can’t afford to waste his time
I said “Excuse me, you look like you need a valentine.”
Well Lady Luck was on my side, sitting there in person
Working for an NGO, Birgitte was her name
And so to stop her feeling awkward, I couldn’t help but be straightforward
I said “Birgitte, I love you, our meeting like this must be fate.”

CHORUS

Who said that love cannot spark in unusual ways?
And if it doesn’t at least there is nothing to pay

“Let me explain a little more
We’ll make it strictly business
I know your boyfriend won’t be pleased but tell him it’s OK.
Of course our love is not for ever:
Just for a year until the papers arrive and then we can file for divorce
The very next day.”
So she looked me up and down, but didn’t get offended
“I know exactly what you want,” she said,“But what’s in it for me?”
And so my friend why don’t you listen, if you want my help to screw the system,
You should remember that nothing worth having is ever for free.”

CHORUS