Have you ever lost your coat at a club and spent hours sifting through the piles of jackets with only the light of your cell phone to see by, and then come up empty-handed anyway? Well, this story’s for you.

Columbia student Masha Markova, 22, lost her $11,000 blond mink coat — a gift from her grandmother — while attending a birthday party last January at 1Oak in the meatpacking district. We know, we know. You sort of hate this girl already, what with her Columbia education, her unapologetic wearing of fur, her $11,000-coat-gifting grandmother, and just the fact that she was in the meatpacking district at all. But stay with us — this is where it gets good.

According to the New York Post, two weeks later, she’s flipping through OK! magazine and Lindsay Lohan is wearing her coat! And she knows that it’s hers because she was sitting next to Lohan at the party! So she surfed the Internet and found several paparazzi photos of Lohan sporting a black coat before she arrived at 1Oak but wearing the unusual blond coat hours after the birthday party.

"I don't see how it could have been an accident," Markova said.

So her lawyers called Lohan’s lawyers. "They were very discreet, never mentioned a name or even the word 'coat,'" Markova said. "They just said, 'We're going to bring you something.'" ("We’re going to bring you something." So shady! We love it.) The coat arrived at her apartment two days later, reeking of cigarettes and booze with a slight tear in the lining. We would’ve expected nothing less. Markova, however, is demanding that Lohan pay her $10,000 for the unauthorized three-week rental. Come on, doesn't the anecdote alone pay for itself? —Noelle Hancock