Jessica Simpson has the weirdest posture ever

I'm not going to pretend I understand what's happening to Jessica Simpson because I don't. She showed up to the CDFA Fashion Awards standing like she learned her posture from posing for statues of Hercules. She looks like a woman who's forgotten how to be a woman, and is trying to learn all over again with the help of a manual. Step 1. Wear an outfit that accentuates your breasts. Step 2. Stick your breasts out. Step 3. Stick your breasts out even more. Men like boobs. This concludes your guide on being a woman.