sometimes i just hate this emptyness
when you leave
when theres nobody to talk to

funny how things work out

today it makes me wanna cry
everything
almost every little bit i told you, i wrote down
atleast i stopped myself writing down the ordinary bullshit i used to tell
all the 'oh-so-funny-oh-so-cool-and-mentionworthy' sentences and words

for sometime
there wasnt anybody like you
no, i dont mean that crappy 'falling-in-love-its-just-a-crush' thing
im talking about talking
writing
words
letters
dots

.

and the little bit of understanding on your
well both
sides

today i felt i could cry
like i would cry
thou theres much physical pain i cant ignore
the one in my head is..undetermined
i cant recognize it
i cant locate it
i even cant name it
but there was this feeling, that it could go out

maybe this is the 'calling-for-help' part
or its just some ordinary crappy bullshit a write down everytime i feel something

cuz theres not much to feel
not in the last days
weeks
months
years

and words are the only thing that help to get rid of
of what?
off
off, myslef, shut down
(damn)

call in for an ambulance
or just graduate and come over
whatever

ok, so this is the regular 'calling-for-help' crap
great


i was wondering
if id be crying
and writing all the mess down, flooding your query and hoping for some words of understanding
it would be embarrasing
but not more than everything else

theres just one thing that saved me
until now (if you read it):


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